The Power of Recognition

The Power of Recognition


Actually, in reality, what is this power that allows, or enables us to function? To live and move about? How do we learn, do our jobs, find our way home at the end of the day? What is giving us this ability to even know that we are?
How do you know who you are? where you are. You can never know why you are.

The mind has or is this power of recognition. And it is always, always doing this without stopping except during deep dreamless sleep. It uses words or thoughts and images, ideas, concepts, and most of all beliefs to hold it all together.
;Well where do you or I fit into all this? That is the point exactly. We are enmeshed in this process and cannot separate ourselves out. Where could we stand out side of this process to do this? If we we could, how would we recognize who or where we are to see anything. Out side of this process of recognition we can't know anything, even who we are.

But, But, But something is aware of this recognition process, when it is pointed out it is seen to be happening, and what is happening in it is that a story is going on, or ongoing.

 The story of my "life" of what I "believe" of what my relationship to "my god" is or is not, I even call it my beliefs. Beliefs are stories of how things are, and what they mean.

 T‎his story being referred to as my faith, is this story told to me by someone else, in the
 deepest part of me I know this is a story of "my" religion, and its story of what "god" is, and how all of this life came about.

 What if I came up with my own story? Where would I start? What do I know absolutely for sure that I could start with? Like a clean slate.

 Let's see, I am here, I know that for sure, How did I get here? Where or when did I suddenly appear? I know the story my parents told me about how I was born, but that is their story, and I'm trying to do my own. In my own personal experience is there any evidence I just popped into this life? No it seems I have always been here. That is my experience.

 So based on what I really know and not what I have been told, my story would start, I have always been. (that kinda blows away a lot of old ideas). So I have always been, and then what? What comes next? Well what about my past? What about my story? Is it possible that my past has become just a story? If I can tell it then it is what it is. And, a story is a belief about what happened back there, back then. Does it exist now? Yes as a story.

 So, If I am going to be responsible, and accountable, and honest to myself, I have to admit all I really know are stories, except for right now I know I am, this is real, stories are not, stories are just stories, beliefs about what is not now, or about "the future". If I remove the label "stories" then what would I be referring to about me? Images and thoughts about the past. If I removed the label past, could I even refer to anything not now? What could I say about myself without these labels, my story my past? What can I say about myself now that is true?

 I could describe my body, my present thoughts, my feelings now. But as soon as I do this they are gone too. And then my descriptions become a story. So I understand I know nothing about what I call myself, this me has no history, it never came into existence in the past, except in a story. This is all being recognized, but only now. Only I only now, the rest is a story a dream.

 Can this be true? How can I prove this to myself? Prove it so it is not just another story, another belief.

 Let's see, Can I get away from this "now"? Is there somewhere I can go to not be here? Try.

 Can I not be "I"? Can I be something else? Try.

 I need to remove all doubts, can't I escape into a fantasy of the past or the future?  Try.
 What about if I get really drunk or stoned? Try.
 What If I fall in deep love and lose myself to a really beautiful person? Try.
 What if I go back to my "childhood religion" and beg forgiveness? Try. OK, I'll try another religion, that's it, I'll lose myself it trying religions. OK try.
 What if I just tell myself this shit is crazy, and I don't believe any of it, and just go back to being what I used to be, before I heard about all this self examination crap, thats it I can ignore this stuff, and just not drink, and go to the meetings even more, and really pretend I'm happy, and fool everyone, and get into service, and get a better job, go back to school, yeah its never to late to learn, then get a better place to live and a really good relationship. You tried it, how did it work for you?

 Tell your self I'm not aware, I'm not here now. Does that work? But here now sucks, its boring, dull, it makes me uncomfortable, kind of restless, irritable, discontent, like trying to quit smoking, I don't know what to do with myself, can't I just play with myself to get some relief?
 This is no fun, Fuck this, this being here with this awareness that I'm here, is why the fuck I drank, Good now you know what to surrender to. (you thought you surrendered to some god in your imagination didn't you?) You surrender to this, you can't take it back. It's the end of you.
 Now you know what your self is.  Its not going to make it. That thing that can't be in the present moment, it's made up of stories about how to get out of the present, that's all it is.

  But I got a bad feeling about this, can't I do this later, you know in the future some time, I got a lot going for me now, being sober and everything. Really my whole life is ahead of me, I mean come on nobody believes, or understands that getting rid of self crap that's just words in a book, not drinking is the important part. Yes, but look your not drinking now and your still suffering, whats even worse your endorsing your condition as sobriety and trying to sell it to other people, no guilt there huh? You are really surrendering that part that feels like a fraud.  Yeah, but that's me. So? give it up.  But I'm the only me I got.

 Well at least you see that when your confronted you back away. The confront is always the same, the circumstances might be different, but the confront is the same, and it always comes now, you can never be "ready" for it. How do you get ready for the present moment, that's the "ego" who you take your self to be. Yeah but the fear. The fear is just kicking you in the ass, trying to motivate you to let go, that's its job. The suffering, the fear, the insecurity, caused by self reliance, a self you know is a fraud. The belief it is "you" is the bondage, the glue, the bad feeling s are just motivators, they are really love encouraging you to let go, but you believe their bad and want to get rid of them, come on didn't they bring you in here in the first place, you are the one judging them, playing god. So come on just do the examination, I can point this out but you have to do the work, just look inside yourself at the old ideas, do you want to keep the defects?

 Fuck this,You keep saying the same things over and over and I don't feel I'm progressing. I'm sober now so I must be doing something right, I need a new sponsor, how could I have fooled myself? You got nothing I want.

   And so it goes.